🩸 A Leisurely Invitation from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Even beneath the sun… you remain in my grasp.”
How marvelous, mortal.
You seek comfort, warmth, and color—
you seek a towel for your bathing chamber, your shoreline excursions, or your sunlit getaways.
And in your naïve pursuit of peace, you choose a towel bearing the likeness of those who dare struggle against me—along with my own timeless visage.
Do you truly believe that by stepping onto a beach, lying in the light, or wrapping yourself in cotton, you can escape the reach of Barovia?
How adorable.
How utterly delusional.
And yet, I indulge you.
This exquisite, all-over sublimation towel is soft enough for your fragile skin, vibrant enough to catch wandering eyes, and large enough to envelop your entire mortal form. Whether you drape it over a chair beside a warm ocean or clutch it while fleeing a cold Barovian night, its presence shall whisper a constant truth:
There is no horizon beyond my influence.
Wrap yourself in it.
Dry yourself with it.
Sleep beneath it, if you dare.
But know that even as you bask in sunlight,
my shadow lies beneath.
🦇 Features as Refined as My Own Tastes
US Fabric Blend: 52% cotton, 48% polyester — warm and indulgent
EU Fabric Blend: 50% cotton, 50% polyester — balanced like a blade in the hand
US Fabric Weight: 10.6 oz./yd² (360 g/m²)
EU Fabric Weight: 11.8 oz./yd² (400 g/m²) — denser, more substantial, less forgiving
Generous dimensions: 30″ × 60″ × 0.28″ (76 × 152 × 0.7 cm)
Printed on one side only, containing the vivid imagery of adventurers and their doom
Reverse side of terry fabric, absorbing water as eagerly as the Mists absorb hope
This is not merely a towel.
It is a banner.
A declaration.
A reminder that even in your moments of rest and indulgence, the story of Trapped in the Mists clings to you like destiny itself.
🌑 For Its Care (Though You Cannot Care for Your Fate)
Machine wash gently.
Dry with dignity.
Treat it with respect—
for it bears my presence.
⚰️ A Note on Its Birth
Each towel comes into existence only when you request it.
There are no mountains of them idly waiting.
No needless stockpiles.
Each is crafted individually, as deliberate and irrevocable as the choices that brought the adventurers into my domain.
You summon it.
But remember—
I summon the Mists.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (Which Amuse Me Greatly)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with standards for azo dyes, formaldehyde, BPA, flammability, lead, and phthalates
For inquiries regarding safety—not survival—contact:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
Or send written correspondence to:
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Go on then, mortal.
Lay upon your towel.
Gaze at the waves.
Pretend you are safe.
The sun may warm your skin…
but I will always warm your fear.”