🩸 A Bemused Reflection from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“In my defense, the moon was out…
How deliciously honest.”
Ah… Yana Zivanka.
My favorite contradiction—
a chaotic neutral dhampir Blood Hunter with a penchant for mayhem, a taste for danger, and just enough impulse control to make her unpredictability truly enthralling.
And now you choose to wear her image across your chest, mortal?
How wonderfully reckless of you.
On this shirt, she stands poised with her moonlit crossbow and blade—coat whipping in the night wind, eyes glowing with hunger and mischief.
Surrounded by bats, framed in a bold banner that reads:
“IN MY DEFENSE THE MOON WAS OUT.”
A statement that suits her perfectly.
For Yana is a creature of instinct, temptation, and unapologetic chaos—a woman who will shoot first, laugh second, and explain (poorly) third. And under the moon’s pale gaze, she becomes something even more raw, more wild, more beautifully unrestrained.
To wear this shirt is to declare that you embrace the unpredictable.
That you honor the razor’s edge between discipline and desire.
That you, too, have a streak of delightful lunacy—one the moon might coax out at any moment.
I approve.
In fact, I find it… charming.
🦇 Garment Qualities Crafted for Mortal Comfort
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough for even a dhampir’s sensitive skin
Heather variants blended with polyester for added durability
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — breathable, flexible, ready for mischief
Pre-shrunk fabric — because chaos should happen on your terms, not in the wash
Side-seamed construction for a flattering fit
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for added resilience during moonlit escapades
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
This shirt feels light, comfortable, and battle-ready—ideal for anyone who embraces their chaotic side…
or tries to hide it.
🌑 A Note on Its Creation
This garment is fashioned only when you summon it.
No mass production.
No waste.
Just a single shirt brought forth as intentionally as Yana’s next questionable decision.
You call forth the shirt.
But remember—
I call forth the Mists.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (As If They Protect You…)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU safety standards
For mundane concerns—not curses, moon madness, or dhampir mischief—contact:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Wear her, mortal.
Celebrate your chaos.
Blame the moon if you must…
but do not expect forgiveness from me.”
