🦇 “Sun’s Out. Guns Out.” — A Declaration of Radiant Vanity
Penned by Count Strahd von Zarovich, Lord of Barovia
 
At last… a garment that reveals the true priorities of Sir Gawain Aelius.
Not justice.
Not valor.
Not the endless pursuit of my destruction.
 
No—what he most cherishes is the flex of his celestial-blessed musculature beneath the warm lie of sunlight. How poetic that he parades his divine physique while training in the very land where the sun rarely pierces the Mists. Truly, he is a creature of optimism… or delusion.
 
This soft, sleeveless tank, crafted with enviable comfort and sinful indulgence, is perfect for any mortal who wishes to imitate the gleaming bravado of Barovia’s golden boy. Its relaxed fit and low-cut armholes allow your arms—however mortal and unimpressive—to move freely, whether you are lifting weights, swinging a sword, or attempting some curious off-plane ritual called “yoga.”
 
Upon the chest, a circular emblem proclaims:
 
SUN’S OUT. GUNS OUT.
 
And in the center stands Gawain Aelius himself—Aasimar Paladin/Bard, divine showpiece, Slayer-in-Training—radiant and overconfident, with the celestial lion Orion standing vigil at his side. Together they form the kind of heroic intimidation that only encourages me to toy with them longer.
 
Turn the tank around and you reveal what I find most amusing:
 
"ORION’S CELESTIAL GYM
Est. 2023 – Vallaki, Barovia"
 
Ah yes… the gym Gawain so proudly frequents. A place where he can pretend the walls do not whisper. Where barbells do not tremble under the weight of my shadow. Where even his lion cannot hide the knowledge that every repetition only brings him closer to the day he faces me.
 
Still… if you wish to walk the roads of strength, swagger, and celestial arrogance, this tank will serve you well. Wear it proudly—but know that no amount of training will make you ready for what lurks in Castle Ravenloft.
 
Join the quest—if you dare—with RPG Storytelling.
 
☀️ Product Details (for those who value practicality over theatrics):
 
100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
32 singles for unmatched smoothness
Relaxed fit for comfort and confidence
Side-seamed construction for durability
Wide, low-cut armholes to maximize movement
Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US
 
🧵 Made-to-Order Excellence
 
This product is created on demand—a noble practice that avoids unnecessary overproduction. Your patience is appreciated… though I, personally, find anticipation delicious.
 
🛡️ Compliance & Warranty
 
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Additional Compliance: Meets required flammability standards
GPSR Compliant
 
For inquiries or concerns, contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com.
 
Or write to us at:
337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus