🩸 A Grand Pronouncement from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Behold the stage upon which your heroes tremble… and I do not.”
Ah… so you wish to decorate your walls with imagery of the foolish mortals who wander my domain—
the “adventurers,” the hopeful, the desperate—
and, naturally, with me, the true and eternal heart of Barovia.
Very well.
Adorn your home with this cinematic masterpiece, a poster that captures the drama, dread, and doomed determination of those who dare oppose me. It features their faces frozen in bravery—
and my own presence carved from shadow and sovereignty.
Hang it proudly.
Let it dominate your study, your gaming chamber, or any room foolish enough to believe itself safe from the Mists.
Let it serve as a reminder, every time you pass it, that fate is a tapestry woven by my hand.
And yet… even I must admit:
the artistry is exquisite.
Partly glossy, partly matte—
like moonlight fractured across a coffin’s lid.
Fingerprint-resistant—
for even your trembling hands cannot mar my visage.
Crafted on quality paper sourced from distant lands—
a worthy tribute to the legend it portrays.
This is more than a poster, mortal.
It is a window.
A window into Barovia’s sorrow… and my eternal reign.
🦇 Features as Refined as the Count Himself
10 mil (0.25 mm) thickness — substantial, unyielding, enduring
Slightly glossy finish — catching light like the rim of a goblet filled with dark wine
Fingerprint resistant — your touch leaves no mark upon destiny
Premium paper sourced from Japan — a land almost as ancient as I
Place it upon your wall and watch as visitors pause, stare, and shiver—
for this poster does not merely display a story.
It haunts.
🌑 A Note on Its Creation
Each poster is crafted only when you request it.
No waste.
No idle stock.
A single work of art birthed for a single mortal’s desire—
how wonderfully intimate.
You summon the poster.
But I summon the Mists that surround it.
⚰️ Mortal Reassurances & Formalities
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU product safety standards
For inquiries not concerning curses, shadows, or predestination, write to:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Hang it upon your wall, mortal.
Let its presence watch over you.
Let my presence watch over you.
For whether in parchment, ink, or shadow—
I am always near.”