🩸 A Sardonic Observation from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Freedom is earned through blood, sweat, and sacrifice… how quaint.”
Behold, mortal—you dare wrap yourself in a shirt proclaiming bravery, hard work, and noble sacrifice?
A shirt depicting Ivor Agusto, that stubborn tinkerer whose heart burns hotter than his forge, and Caesar, his towering steel simian—crafted with devotion, reinforced with magic,
and powered by something as fragile as paternal love.
How utterly… precious.
The artwork emblazoned upon this garment is bold enough to catch the eye of any who pass by:
“Freedom is earned through BLOOD, SWEAT, and SACRIFICE of those willing to defend it.”
How poetic.
How heroic.
How delightfully unaware of the futility of such ideals within my domain.
Yet I admit—the scene possesses a certain charm.
Ivor stands proud, resolute, flanked by Caesar’s massive, armored form. Together they radiate a determination so fierce it would almost be inspiring…were it not destined to crumble beneath the weight of Barovia’s eternal night.
But you—you may wear this declaration proudly. Wrap yourself in courage, in conviction, in the illusion that freedom is forged by mortal hands. Let the world see where your loyalties lie,
and let them wonder whether you too would spill your blood,
sweat through your battles, and make your sacrifices for the cause you champion.
Whether you wear it at the gaming table, across the battlefield of a gym, or out in the waking world—this shirt stands as a banner of defiance. A tribute to those who fight, knowing the odds, knowing the cost…and fighting still.
Very well, mortal.
Wear your hero.
Wear your ideals.
Wear the foolish belief that you can defend anything against the darkness.
I find it quite… entertaining.
🦇 Features Tailored for Mortal Comfort
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough even for your delicate flesh
Heather colors enriched with polyester for added resilience
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — light, breathable, perfect for movement
Pre-shrunk fabric — resistant to your inevitable laundering mishaps
Side-seamed construction for a flattering shape
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for durability worthy of Caesar’s craftsmanship
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Whether you are slaying monsters or simply slaying your to-do list, this shirt moves with you, breathes with you, and stands firm—much like Ivor and his steel-bound son.
🌑 A Note on Its Creation
Each shirt is crafted only when you request it—a thoughtful practice of restraint and sustainability.
How admirable.
How unlike the chaos your adventurers trail behind them.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU safety requirements
For inquiries unconnected to curses, prophecy, or doom, direct your pleas to:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Go ahead, mortal.
Wear your shirt.
Wear your courage.
Wear your defiance.
I welcome every drop of hope—
for it tastes sweetest right before it breaks.”