🩸 A Darkly Amused Address from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Blood, Sweat, and Sacrifice…Words the boy jests about, yet lives more honestly than most.”
Ah… Nedro Joler.
The chatterbox spellcaster.
The clever fool.
The resourceful troublemaker whose grin arrives before his spells do,
and whose bravery shines brightest in moments where he should, by all rights, be afraid.
And now, mortal, you dare wear him proudly upon your chest—
his stance confident, his arcane gears spinning,
his eyes lit with the spark of a man who refuses to let Barovia break him.
Across the front of this garment, the declaration rings out:
“FREEDOM IS EARNED THROUGH BLOOD, SWEAT, AND SACRIFICE OF THOSE WHO ARE WILLING TO DEFEND IT.”
A sentiment I have heard whispered by revolutionaries, knights, martyrs…
and by fools.
And yet, somehow…
it suits him.
For all his jokes, all his rambling commentary and half-mad inventions,
Nedro bears the heart of a survivor.
His magic churns, his mind whirls, his courage holds—
even when faced with the inevitability of my gaze.
To wear this shirt is to declare your allegiance not merely to a hero, but to the spirit of irrepressible defiance itself.
A bold choice.
A perilous one.
A choice that entertains me greatly.
🦇 Features Crafted for Mortal Comfort—Though None Escape My Grasp
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — impossibly soft, indulgently smooth
Heather colors blended with polyester for added resilience
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — breathable enough for even the most frantic spell-slinging
Pre-shrunk fabric — so your mage does not distort beneath heat
Side-seamed construction — flattering and durable, unlike your mortality
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — reinforcement worthy of a craftsman like Ned himself
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
The shirt fits like a charm—
one you will hope protects you better than the charms Ned carries in his pockets.
🌑 A Note on Its Creation
Each shirt is crafted only when summoned by you.
Not mass-produced.
Not stored in dusty warehouses like forgotten relics.
Every piece is called into existence deliberately—
much like the magic Nedro conjures with a grin and a spark.
You summon the garment.
But always remember, mortal—
I summon the Mists.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (As If They Shield You…)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU safety requirements
For queries of safety rather than doom, address your words to:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Wear your mage, mortal.
Wear his spark.
Wear his defiance.
But heed my warning—
even the cleverest light
casts a shadow I can reach.”