A Personal Indulgence from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Every detail… every touch… belongs to me.”
How delightful it is, mortal, that you seek to adorn your home with reminders of my presence.
You attempt to bring beauty into your dwelling—very well.
Take these hand towels, crafted with exquisite detail, as a token of my… amusement.
Each towel bears the likeness of myself, Count Strahd von Zarovich, astride my loyal nightmare steed, Beucephalus—a beast forged from flame, shadow, and unwavering obedience. Together we ride through the Mists, commanding fear, desire, and fate itself. And now, through this elegant fabric, we ride straight into your home.
Hang these towels in your chambers, your bathing room, or any place where you wish to remember who rules the night.
Let guests behold them and whisper:
“He is watching.”
And indeed, I am.
🦇 The Features You Mortals Crave
52% polyester, 48% cotton — a union of softness and substance
Luxurious polyester front, vibrant and smooth beneath your trembling fingers
Absorbent cotton back, eager to drink in the water from your hands…
(or perhaps something darker)Premium fabric weight: 14.1 oz./yd² (400 g/m²)
Dimensions: 16″ × 28″ — ample enough to display my full glory
Bold, long-lasting artwork that refuses to fade…
much like my dominion over Barovia
These towels lend refinement, menace, and elegance to any mortal’s bathroom or guest quarters. Few possessions declare loyalty with such subtle confidence.
🌑 Care Instructions (Though You May Not Deserve Them)
Machine wash cold, 90°F / 30°C
Do not bleach.
Do not iron.
Do not tumble dry with heat.
Treat these towels with respect—
for they bear my image.
⚰️ A Note on Their Creation
These towels come into existence only when you request them.
A personal summons, if you will.
No excess. No waste.
Each one woven upon demand…
just as the Mists respond to my will.
You choose the towel.
But it is I who allow it to reach you.
🛡️ Warranty, Safety, & Mortal Concerns
(How quaint that you concern yourselves with such trivialities.)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years, assuming you survive that long
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU safety regulations
For inquiries about safety—not survival—contact:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
Or send a letter, if you believe parchment can shield you:
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Display them proudly, mortal.
Let every guest know whose shadow falls across your life.
For even in your quietest moments…
I am never far.”