🩸 A Velvet-Smooth Appraisal from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Magic is in the blood…
and so is destiny.”
Ah… Ris Olenski.
Reborn wizard.
A soul stitched back together with secrets, memory fragments, and a stubborn spark that refuses—quite annoyingly—to fade.
Now you seek to honor this curious little revenant by wearing their image upon your chest?
How quaint.
How sentimental.
How utterly fascinating.
Observe the design:
swirling arcane filigree encircles your precious Ris like a decorative tombstone—appropriate, given their condition.
In the center, they stands vigilant, spellbook in hand, crimson magic snaking from their fingertips like veins given life and purpose.
Beneath them, the words whisper the truth:
MAGIC IS IN THE BLOOD
EST. 2023
Indeed it is.
For some, magic is memorized.
For some, it is inherited.
But for Ris…
it is something deeper.
Older.
More intimate.
It clings to him like a memory he cannot escape—
much like Barovia clings to me.
To wear this shirt is to celebrate the persistence of the spirit,
the tenacity of the broken, and the quiet, relentless wrath of someone who has died once and still stands defiant against me.
Admirable.
Tragic.
Deliciously futile.
🦇 Crafted for Mortal Comfort—Even Wizards Deserve Soft Fabric
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — smoother than a whispered spell
Heather colors blended with polyester for resilience against repeated arcane mishaps
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — breathable and lightweight, ideal for spellcasting
Pre-shrunk fabric — unlike Ris’s mortality, which shrinks quite unpredictably
Side-seamed construction — a refined, flattering fit
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — reinforced for even the most frantic wizardry
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
It is soft.
It is durable.
It is comfortable—
qualities Ris themself desperately wishes applied to their current body.
🌑 Created Only When You Will It
This shirt is not mass-produced.
It waits to be summoned—
called into form only by your intention.
A fitting parallel to Ris themself,
whose very existence is a matter of summoning,
stitching,
and stubbornness.
You bring forth the garment.
But remember—
I bring forth the Mists.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (For Those Who Fear Everything Except Me)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and all safety standards
For concerns that are mundane rather than metaphysical, reach out to:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Wear your little wizard, mortal.
Celebrate their spark.
Celebrate their blood-born magic.
But know this—
even a reborn soul
can fall to me…
twice.”