🩸 A Commanding Proclamation from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“Kneel, mortal. Or run. It matters little in the end.”
 
At last, a shirt worthy of my legacy—
bold, unashamed, and dripping in delicious contempt for those hapless little “heroes” who believe they might one day triumph over me.
 
Observe the artwork emblazoned upon this magnificent garment:
 
I stand proudly beside my loyal nightmare steed, its hooves wreathed in flame, its eyes blazing with hunger equal to my own.
Together we form a silhouette of inevitable doom, framed by the declaration:
 
Hail Strahd
Eat Adventurers
 
A simple message.
A truthful one.
One I have demonstrated time and time again across the mists of Barovia.
 
While adventurers scurry through forests, scramble through crypts, and whisper fearfully around campfires, I stand ready to welcome them—
as guests…
as entertainment…
and occasionally, as supper.
 
To wear this shirt is to embrace the power, elegance, and inevitability of the predator.
It tells the world you side with the shadows…
or at the very least, that you appreciate the humor of a villain who knows precisely what he is.
 
And should any adventurer glare at you for donning such a garment?
Simply smile.
Bare your teeth a little.
And remind them:
 
“You attack the darkness at your own risk.”
 
🦇 Crafted for Comfort—Even the Undead Appreciate Good Fabric
 
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough for mortal skin, refined enough for a vampire’s wardrobe
Heather colors enriched with polyester for durability through battle, chase, or ritual sacrifice
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — lightweight, breathable, and perfect for midnight hunts
Pre-shrunk fabric — unlike your courage, which tends to shrink unexpectedly
Side-seamed construction — flattering for every body that has not yet decayed
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — reinforced, like my unbreakable dominion
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
 
Strong. Comfortable. Reliable.
Everything your adventurers are not.
 
🌑 Created Only When You Will It
 
This shirt is brought forth on demand—a one-of-a-kind summoning, not a mindless mass-produced artifact.
 
A deliberate choice.
A personal invitation.
A whispered pact between you and the darkness.
 
You summon the shirt.
But never forget—
I summon the Mists.
 
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (How Endearing…)
 
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and all EU safety standards
 
For questions mundane rather than metaphysical, you may contact:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
 
🩸 “Wear me proudly, mortal.
Let the world know where your allegiance lies.
Hail Strahd.
And let the adventurers tremble.”