🩸 A Darkly Amused Pronouncement from Count Strahd von Zarovich
“In my defense, the moon was full…
How delightfully predictable.”
Ah… Yana Zivanka.
The chaotic neutral dhampir Blood Hunter with a temper as sharp as her claws and a disregard for restraint that is—
if I may be candid—
utterly delightful to observe.
And here, mortal, you choose to celebrate her most… uninhibited form.
On this shirt’s front, Yana stands proudly in full werewolf transformation—muscles coiled, fangs bared, eyes blazing with that savage fire she tries—and fails—to hide.
The moon’s influence clings to her like a lover, and tiny bats circle her form, as if even they sense kinship in her wildness.
Framing her ferocious silhouette, the words ring out:
“IN MY DEFENSE THE MOON WAS FULL.”
A perfect justification.
A perfect excuse.
A perfect summary of her…
let us call them “behavioral inconsistencies.”
How charmingly honest.
How wonderfully chaotic.
How very Yana.
To wear this shirt is to embrace the beast within—to laugh at your own impulses, to revel in the mischief that rises when the moon is heavy and bright.
You declare to all who see you that your wild heart cannot always be tamed…
nor should it be.
I commend this.
Chaos makes life in Barovia far more entertaining.
🦇 Made for Mortals… Though It Could Survive a Claw Mark or Two
100% combed and ring-spun cotton — soft enough for human skin, durable enough for lupine fits
Heather colors blended with polyester for added strength
Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) — breathable and flexible for moonlit escapades
Pre-shrunk fabric — transformation-proof, to a degree
Side-seamed construction — flattering and sturdy
Shoulder-to-shoulder taping — reinforced for when instincts… take over
Sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Comfortable, lightweight, and made to move—
whether you walk on two legs…
or four.
🌑 A Note on Its Creation
Each shirt is crafted only when you command it.
No mass-produced piles, no needless waste.
A single garment summoned by your will—
much like Yana’s wolf form, called forth by the moon’s silver pull.
You bring forth the shirt.
But never forget—
I bring forth the night.
🛡️ Mortal Reassurances (Though Not Even Silver Will Save You…)
Age Restrictions: Adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Fully compliant with GPSR and EU safety requirements
For mundane inquiries—not curses, transformations, or moon-madness—contact:
📧 gpsr@sindenventures.com
📬 337 Burr Oak Circle, Cary, IL 60013
📬 Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus
🩸 “Wear her, mortal.
Celebrate your wildness.
Blame the moon if you must…
but do not expect absolution from me.”